Rabu, 01 Maret 2017

Djakarta: benci tapi cinta

siapapun gubernurnya yang namanya macet ibu kota ga akan ada solusinya.
even mo jalanan atas bawah dibuat ampe 5 lapis.
#jadiyahkalogacabut #yadihadapisajadenganlapangdada



kalo kata orang yang naik kendaraan roda empat, pengendara motor salah satu penyebab lalu lintas sering tersendat karena yang paling 'riweh' dan ga pernah mo ngalah tiap ada persimpangan atau belokan.

kalo kata orang yang naik motor, mobil banyak banget isinya cuma satu/dua kepala.

kalo kata orang yang naik kendaraan umum. orang orang banyak banget satu kereta atau bus aja ga mampu ngangkut semua yang ngantri.

kalo kata orang yang jalan kaki. udah ngekos mahal-mahal, udara ga kondusif, jalan ditrotoar atau nyebrang pake jembatan penyebrangan lah tetep kena senggol kendaraan roda dua.

kalo kata orang-orang-an: ini semua salah jokowi dan ahok.


~

Setiap ibu kota besar pasti memiliki problematika yang sama kok. penumpukan populasi kendaraan di jalanan. Bisa coba cekidot di link ini
Gw suka hmm ya ya gimana gitu sama orang-orang yang tinggal dan mencari nafkah di ibu kota sehari-hari dan mungkin selamanya terus ngeluh at least sehari sekali lah perihal macet jakarta atau gaya dan perilaku orang-orang di ibu kota. kayak, "hidup segan mati tak mau-ngeluh terus tapi ga pergi pergi."
Masalahnya tu jelas banget loh sebenarnya: banyak manusia.
Ibarat kayak ayam ditaro dalam satu kandang. ada 3 ayam nih udah bertelor. masuklah dari luar 2 ayam. kawin. bertelor. rame tu anak-anaknya. eh nambah lagi dari luar 2 ayam. anak-anaknya gedean bertelor lagi juga tuh. mo kandangnya digedein ampe berapa tahap juga pada akhirnya kandangnya ga akan cukup menampung ayam-ayam yang terus bertambah.


Pencemaran polusi udara di beijing akibat dari maraknya industri dan transportasi.


Berapa bulan yang lalu gw pernah pulang ke jakarta dan main ke salah satu mol dijakarta selatan untuk membeli lipstik dan sepatu. udah kena macet dari keluar rumah di setiap jalanan yang harus gw lewati, untuk mencari parkir pun butuh waktu sampai setengah jam-ladies parking pun penuh. dipikiran gw saat itu "ini orang-orang pada mo beli lipstik juga kali yah kayak gue"
dan oh gw baru ngeh kalo waktu itu hari sabtu. gw lupa kalo tempat hiburan di ibu kota yang paling kondusif hanya mal, walaupun mal juga udah banyak banget tetep aja setiap parking area nya ga cukup menampung kendaraan yang singgah.
Ok kemudian gw hoki dan jeli karena dapet orang yang baru mo cabut keluar.
Masuk-masuk di mol, gw jalan deh tuh sendirian ngiter mencari apa yang emang mo gw beli. yampunnnnn orang banyak bangeeeeet. dan setiap orang yang jalan berpasangan yang keliatannya ga jauh umurnya dari gw templatenya uda pasti pada bawa anak satu atau dua. Kayak ada tuh di mol tempat bermain ala kadarnya disitu rame semua anak-anak kecil, kayak gw liatnya ga mungkin deh tuh kalo ga ada anak yang ga sengaja ketendang. terus gw juga liat dari anak kecil ampe udah separuh baya mo lagi jalan atau duduk nunggu makanan berdua bertiga berempat semuanyaaaa ga ada yang ga megang henfon. i was like, doesn't mean to judge but just wondering if there is no gadget or a mall to visit, what are they gonna do then on weekend?


Menurut sudut pandang gw ya sia-sia deh mo ngeluh kayak apa juga. kalo emang lo orang jakarta, punya rumah di jakarta, berkeluarga di jakarta, paling bener ya kalo uda setress banget ya cabut dulu kemana gitu liburan ke tempat yang terpencil dan sepi, yang penghuninya lebih banyak pohon atau pemandangan terumbu karang laut. "liburan juga pake duit. mesti beli tiket pesawat ini itu belum lagi waktu terus bla bla." iya ngerti gw, ya mo gimana dong at least make something or go somewhere that can make you to release your stress for real. kalo memang update status di sosial media marah-marah ngeluh ini itu membantu ya uds paling 5 tahun lagi lo throwback liat itu status malu terus mikir "ngomong apa w, setres"



Perkembangan industri, pencemaran lingkungan dan tingginya daya beli pada masyarakat dipacu dari satu faktor: ledakan populasi manusia.
jadi dalam sudut pandang gw pribadi ya solusi satu-satunya yang paling efektif adalah pembatasan dalam populasi manusia. mo lo cerai berai manusia atau industri kesetiap propinsi itu hanya akan jadi solusi sementara yang dampak buruknya hanya akan membuat lingkungan terkikis demi memenuhi kebutuhan manusia yang jumlahnya terus menerus meningkat. mungkin harus ada sistem tersendiri ya kayak pajak anak atau denda apabila punya anak lebih dari dua, sistem atau program yang bikin orang mesti mikir dua kali untuk punya banyak anak. ngomong gampang emang gw, eksekusinya dengan kontra nya itu bagian yang tersulit. (adanya nanti malah abortion makin meningkat-salah pemerintah lagi). Serba salah yah jadi pemerintah... ibarat di lingkup kecilnya aja deh coba lu jadi kepala keluarga punya dua istri dan banyak anak, pasti ada ae satu dua yang s'lek.
kudu piye~ apa daya lillahi ta'ala wae kita mah apa atuh bak satu butir beras.


Kamis, 16 Februari 2017

respect.

babangnya gantengan begini huhuhuuu



ini cuman bacot gue pribadi seputar pasca pilkada jakarta (yang ternyata masih akan ada lagi putaran kedua). Gue nggak punya background pendidikan politik, dan nafkah gue ataupun orangtua juga ga 'bergantung' pada ngurusin urusan negara, tapi berhubung deadline kerjaan gue udah pada lewat dan gue lagi sering2nya mantau timeline facebook, gue ngerasa harus ngelakuin hobi lama gue yaitu nulis unek-unek di blog.

saya menulis ini karena 'gemes2 greget' sama update2 status orang di timeline facebook saya yang cenderung berpolitik. ya bebas lah, semua orang berhak memiliki opini nya masing masing dan itu pun juga boleh berlaku dong untuk saya saat ini.





Yang gue baca, sebelum Agus resmi mengundurkan diri dari keanggotaan TNI, Agus berpangkat Mayor dan menjabat sebagai Komandan Batalyon 203/Arya Kamuning. Ia dikenal memiliki prestasi yang sangat baik selama 15 tahun bergabung menjadi TNI aktif.

Banyak spekulasi yang muncul ketika Agus memilih untuk melepaskan karirnya ini,
dari mengenai "Peran obsess sang ayah yang belum selesai" atau "Agus anak yang dikorbankan" sampai berita yang bicara faktanya bahwa Agus jabatannya hanya mampu mentok di Letnan Kolonel karena memiliki kendala yaitu cedera dari latihan brigade pada tulang belakangnya. Mungkin dengan tanggungjawab dan bebannya sebagai kepala keluarga dan anak sulung seorang jendral & mantan presiden, timbul 'bisikan-bisakan' yang kerap membangun pikiran 'mo kemana ya gue' dengan mengambil arah untuk langsung berani terjun ke dunia politik.

Ia melepaskan karir kemiliterannya untuk terjun ke politik yang ga tanggung2 dengan penuh kepercayaan diri langsung mencalonkan diri menjadi gubernur kota yang 'ribet', bersaing dengan orang2 yang memang sudah 'bekerja' pada jalurnya. yang satu ibaratnya tinggal 'selling by a prove of what he did' dan yang satu udah pernah jadi mentri. Ibarat fresh graduated tapi langsung mau jadi direktur utama perusahaan yang banyak cabang dengan problematikanya masing-masing-even orangtua sejarahnya udah pernah megang ratusan perusahaan. but y, nothing is impossible lah ya kalo kata netizen US kalo Trump bisa berarti siapapun bisa.

Ya semua butuh proses. Kita nggak pernah tau apa yang seorang telah lalui dan sedang ia lalui, yang kita hanya bisa nilai adalah hasil akhirnya sambil mencibir. Mungkin begitulah cara Agus untuk belajar, ia berani untuk diremehkan dan ia berani untuk gagal. Karena dari situlah sebuah proses pembelajaran terjadi dan lagipula yaaa lumayan deh... at least kan orang-orang pun jadi 'kenal' sama sosoknya-apal mukanya-jadi apabila Agus mulai mengukir prestasi prestasi kecil di bidang politik toh ia tidak perlu susah payah lagi untuk membuat 'mukanya' dikenal (tanpa perlu bawa embel2 nama belakang). gue aja pribadi, ga tau tuh siapa uno dan djarot sampai akhirnya dia jadi cawagub jkt.

Dan setelah gue melihat Agus memberikan pernyataannya bahwa ia menerima kekalahannya.
Gue yang tadinya suka ikut ngecengin dia karena banyak jawaban2nya yang ngeblunder jadi respect. Pernyataan Agus saja sudah terlihat jelas memang dia adalah sosok yang berani dan berjiwa panglima. Disegani tanpa meminta. Mungkin faktor usia juga kali ya, kadang suka gitu.. biasanya kalo makin tua... gelar udah banyak... udah pernah jadi ini jadi itu... giliran sudah ga punya kuasa apa-apa... ya kangen aja gitu dihormati. jadinya kalo ga banyak ngomong, ya banyak ga terimanya.
Dan Agus dengan cakapnya berbicara menerima kekalahannya tuh kayakkkkk waaaaa simple sih emang kayak "ah ngomong doang isi hati mana tau" tapi seriously ga gampang loh jadi orang yang mengakui kekalahan dan kegagalan di depan umum, itu ibaratnya mengemukakan bahwa "ya, saya memang belum pantas." ada ga sesepuh2 sebelumnya yang kalo ga ngilang ya paling menyangkal kekalahan dengan mengkode2kan adanya kecurangan.



Dan untuk mereka yang belum juga udahan ngebully Agus yang udah menunjukkan respect pada democracy secara gentle (tanpa harus curhat di twitter dulu)
i mean lau tu uda jadi gubernur netizen apa gimans kayak paling benerrrrrr ae udah idupnya -__-
gue pahammmm pilkada dki ini bikin baper, tapi hati-hatiiii kalo nyepelein2 orang gitu kakak,
nanti kalo orangnya suatu saat nanti membuktikan ia bisa berprestasi paling lau diem kasak kusuk.
Salut untuk sikap Agus Yudhoyono, terus belajar untuk menjadi yang lebih baik lagi dan insya allah dimudahkan rezekinya di jalan lain yang pastinya terbaik untuk diri sendiri maupun keluarga.



#salamdamaiademayemterusssbosque


Senin, 13 Februari 2017

The Ugly Book




I have a dream that someday i could make my own book.
here i am writing, and it's going to be my life goal before i turn 30 on the next two year ahead.
my quotes, my drawing, my story, your story, and their story.


The Ugly Book

Y U R A


Kamis, 26 Januari 2017

My Top 10 Movie List (year 2010+)


Living the earth since 1989. I'm turning 28 on october-this year and i feel so great right now not just because a new love but year after year now i came at the point where i realize that life keeps going on no matter how much the fuck that people give. I can't stay any longer at coolest pool party and alcohols- it was like my introvert side always make myself sure that "baby, it's better for you stay home and watch some movies. look at that pillow, the warm blanket, and fast internet connection" Besides, it reduce a lot of chance to spend money since my new hobby is saving all the papers in order to can go travel to some places and thinking to start an online shop. It's cliche i know, cause at the end i always fail the saving cause i'm always starving and there are too many delish foods out there.


so yeah. that's my life.
living an independency life far from my parents. lucky i have a boyfriend. lucky i have a good friends. lucky i have a job. lucky there's a technology. and it's enough.
now here's my top 10 list of movie (2011 - 2016)  just in case you're in mood to join the anti social-social club.



Drama Romance
feel the feels.

10. Flipped


9. Me Before You


8. The Fault in Our Stars 


7. The Age of Adeline


6. The Great Gatsby


5. About Time


4. Demolition


3. I origins


2. Silver Linings Playbook


1. La la land





Drama Comedy
good story wrapped in fun


10. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil


9. The Interview


8. Dirty Grandpa


7. We're the Millers


6. The Intouchables


5. Crazy Stupid Love


4. The Nice Guys


3. Spy


2. Deadpool


1. Hangover 2




Drama Mystery
Popcorn time!


10. The Invitation


9. The Woman In Black


8. Insidious


7. Crimson Peak


6. The Conjuring 2


5. Don't Breathe


4. Train to Busan


3. The Skin I Live In


2. Gone Girl


1. Interstellar






That's all.
#enjoy.


Jumat, 23 Desember 2016

opini sekedar. ojo dibaperi bosqu.

here's to a lousy xmas!

Menjelang natal dan tahun baru ini, negara kita dilanda lagi dan lagi sama yang namanya wabah SARA. Yang ga lain dipicu dari kasus gubernur ibu kota-ahok-yang bisa dikatakan 'salah ngomong' sehingga menyinggung golongan muslim di Indonesia. Ibarat kata ya namanya manusia mah ga ada yang sempurna atuh... tapi kerap kali kasus yang selalu terjadi pada khalayak umum adalah, "seribu kebaikan tak akan sanggup menutup satu kesalahan sekecil upil". dan ya terjadilah, kecam mengecam, perang opini dan 'pinter-pinteran ngemeng' di ranah sosial media Indonesia.

Gw jujur, mungkin gw bukanlah seorang ahli surga atau yang paling (mau) banget paham sama panggung politik. Gw emang termasuk aktif banget wara-wiri di sosial media entah ngepos foto apalah, random gif, sharing video ala2, ngebanyol tentang #life, atau cuma sekedar mantau timeline... dan gw akui, dalam beberapa pekan ini news-feed facebook gw banyak banget orang 'kesambet'.
beberapa jadi banyak yang kayak 'baca ni, gw paling tau. gw paling bener. lo semua tolol. lo semua setan.'

lah..... monggo kopinya minum dulu toh bosqu.



Tapi ya intinya si sabeb, cause i actually don't give a fuck sama apa yang dishare. jadi gw ga merasa perlu untuk unfriend atau blok apa segala macem, karena disamping mudahnya untuk menggulir jemari ngeskip postingan lau, kadang juga gw kayak sedikit terhibur sama caption-caption dari link yang dishare atau update2 status yang tertulis wkwkwkwkw.
Ada lah yang segala puitis kebaperan, ada lah yang jadi Mr. Wise netral2 bersahaja, ada lah yang emosi, ada lah yang mengolok olok lewat sarkasme, dan lain-lain.
Gw ga tau juga ya sebagai netizen gw termasuk dalam golongan yang mana.... tapi yang jelas gw susah dah tu yang namanya serius2 gitu di facebook. Gw lagi galau aja gw ngecengin diri gw sendiri bor... jadi gajels emang arah hidup gw kesebelah mana kalo mo dijudge lewat sosmed.



Yah dari gw, menanggapi aksi aksi digital teman-teman di panggung sosial media, secara pribadi gw cukup terkesima. KALIAN LUAR BIASA. Agak iri gw jadinya yang i mean kayak waktu lo banyak banget yah buat baca-baca artikel yang ditulis dari random sumber dan mengutipnya di facebook dengan kalimat lo sendiri. It took a seriously effort dude, salut gw aseli.
Apa gw nya ae yang terlalu cuek kebanyakan ga serius nya ya. Gw jadi minder deh orang-orang kok pada bisa ya kepalanya diisi sama banyak banget hal.... mikirin ahok, mikirin agamanya, mikirin negaranya, mikirin suriah, mikirin komen-komen netizen, mikirin kaum zionis, mikirin raisa sama mas hamis, mikirin artikel ini dan artikel itu, sementara gw??? Yang gw pikirin mau makan apa ya yang enak, kangen mama-papa-pacar, ngelarin kerjaan dari sini dan sana, mikir mo kemana ya weekend atau libur panjang nanti, budgeting ini itu biar punya tabungan, mikirin anjay tu bikini lucu bet tapi mahal tot, belum lagi bagian2 ngayal fana tiap malem sebelum tidur....
kaka????? gimana gw ga salut coba sama orang2 yang punya banyak ruang didalam kepalanya untuk mikirin kemelut masalah masalah ini dan anu. SEE? WE.O.WE=WOW!!! KALIAN MEMANG LUAR BIASA!
udah itu aja. gw cuma mo bilang aja salut and respect sama mereka yang tidak menyerah berbicara ini itu disosial media. keren bos.



P.S: Oh ya btw, gw bukan seorang muslim yang bener tapi basically, iya agama gw tetep islam. gw tinggal di wilayah indonesia bagian non muslim dengan lingkungan yang random. buat yang intoleran, coba deh sekali kali keluar kandang jangan jadi pengecut, keluar dari zona nyaman-dari ranah mayoritas.
gak, ga perlu jauh-jauh ke London. coba deh sebulan tinggal di ubud, terus ngiter ngiter ae random sekalian jalan2 biar ga setres2 banget liat pantat mobil terus dijalanan.
kemudian coba lihat dan pahami, betapa indahnya menjadi minoritas yang ditoleransi oleh para mayoritas :)



Rabu, 23 November 2016

The sea and the sun.




I tell you a story about the sea.
Here comes the sun who will always come back to be right above everyside on earth.
He light up the dark inside the sea so that's a reason why the sea can be look beautifully in blue.
And he turn the cold water to be warmer.
The sea and the sun is a perfect combination in a silver lining.

The sea: "it took a long to time to realize that you are the one that i need. I mean like.... wait, where have you been?"
The sun: "No. where have you been?"
The sea: "Maybe cause you'd been surrounded by clouds for too long. it makes me forget that you're exist."
The sun: "I think it's you. You're too busy to watching people that swimming inside you."

The sea: "... or that's how everything works. it supposed to be like that so it could turn out to be like this."



~

i knew you since 2006. i was on high school and your best friend’s girlfriend on that moment.
i didn’t remember when exactly our conversation started.
it probably like only once a year we’re saying hi on messenger? we’re open up about our own stories like how ugly our sin as a humans. No matter what the shit happened, we share our fucked up stories and supporting each other in text. and by the time when we’re finally met up for after almost a years, all we’re talking about is all the shits we’ve been through........
and just like that, we’re suddenly become a good friends.
you came to me and join me on the trip to Sumba. that's how all the feeling begins.
we didn't even touch each other when us both admit each other feelings. i mean i found it funny somehow cause look at us, people like us, all the things that we've already been through.
Some people may judge us 'what a damage human being' from a very first sight.
cause you and i are same. lost in translation.
so that's why i think we're funny. we have no expectation to could feel this way. not even a lust. not even a plan. we're just friends. friends who talk a lot about things. it sounds like a bullshit but i may prefer the word 'magic'.


Nobody's perfect and nothing lasts forever.
cause well, maybe i guess that's life: a struggle to win or surviving.
But with all the flaws and stories that reveal, you're still perfect. it's us that all i ever wanted.
And it took a long time, a years, and a lot of fucked up things to finally reveal that it's you. i need you because i love you.

Selasa, 18 Oktober 2016

What to do after a BREAKUP




Have you ever been in a very happy relationship that makes you feel it will lasts forever but suddenly it turns out to be the big bullshits and you (just like that) get dumped?


Like F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice." Unfortunately there are some people that should experienced the toxic love. It's like you're just giving out all the best of you to the wrong person. A person that you always catch when he/she is falling but that person won't be there when it's your turn to fall, kind like the selfish one, a cheater, or the one who never truly love you.
Well i'm actually not sure if everyone will or had already experienced that one shit, but one thing that i knew is if you already passed it, you're likely laugh about your friend that maybe right now is 'in-struggle' to find the way back to herself/himself. cause i knew that shit had already grown you up or 'built' the new you and change how you see things.
Or maybe you just knew exactly that at the end, everyone heals. cause you healed. so your friend will.



K enough for the wisely introduction, i know i know.
Now first thing that you have to do is sit on your couch or lay your head on bed (whatever make your body feels comfortable).... close your eyes...... and take a deep breath.
...... yes the world feels like falling apart, things that you used to do is spontaneously changing (especially if you're living together), every memories-good or bad is playing like a random playlist on iTunes. you kind of feel alone and angry and sad in a same time.... but that's good. cause you're a human. and what you feel right now is a heartbreak. It's written in Taylor Swift's song and Adele's.
so it's normal, you're normal. you feel what everyone else ever felt.



WEEK 1
(the hardest bang)


Yes. you've got shot by an asshole. yes, the mthfckr is also robbed you and run away but NO stop making a move, do not chase-let the asshole fuck off cause it's useless you only make yourself getting worse cause you're bleeding right now. Goddamn you feel helpless you're panic-angry-and hurt at same time, you're whining and complaining with saying fuck this-fuck-that till you realize that it won't change the pain. you're keep bleeding anyway in a fucking heavy breathing.

So are you done feeling emotional?
Now let's take the ugly truth by open up the wound for one reason: to take-off the fucking bullet.



Yes. It's going to hurt you so bad and you will think like fuckkk God may hates you so much cause you have to deserved this shit. Feel it. It's okay to punch the pillow and scream and it's okay if you have to take a day off from your work to crying all day long in your bedroom. And it's okay after a couple of days you're still stalking over your ex that suddenly out of nowhere is uploaded a happy picture with someone else and you feel like 'fuck how could you be not fair and so mean to my feeling' then you start crying again.
I mean the point is if you want to take-off the fucking bullet you need to open the wound right? Do the things that make you see the truth; i know you hate it and you can't accept the fact that you have to get over it by yourself, but trust me, everyone is got better. so you will also get better. Cry. Out. Loud. or Louder. the babies are always crying when they're born. that's how the beginning of real life.



The bullet is out. the wound is clearly open. What you want to do next? 'i need to start a new relationship now'. not yet bitch, seriously relax and chill that is too soon, you only end up hurting yourself or another person feeling if you just think to 'bury it' anyway. i mean like what? you prefer to dying with a wound infection than face the pain in beginning and live healthy ever after? if you want to avoid the wound to getting worse you really have to left the wound alone for a moment. Love when you're ready not when you're lonely, remember? So what next? Block his number and every social media of him/her. if you still have a feeling to stalk, just do it. it's okay to still care but don't be offensive. silence speaks louder than any words. You need to cut off all the communication and don't ever make a space for your ex to 'linger'.




 WEEK 2
(the healing process)



Now, you need a lil help from people that you trust. Rubbed the goddamn open wound by using alcohol. Which means you need to be brave to share your thoughts and what you feel even that's ouch like for real, you may feel silly to can be emotional in front of them. but it's okay. it's really okay. people who truly care about you will help you to calm the shit that you feel. To be honest with yourself is a part of healing and dealing. Sometimes all you need is only a person who will be there for you even only for listening to your fucked up voices. They can be anyone, your mother, your brother, your best-friends, or even your dog. Don't be shame to show who you really are and what you really feel even the wound looks ugly and people be like 'ugh too bad for your life'.

I know, one of the hardest part of breakup is to leave all the things that you used to do together with your partner. Especially when you're not a type of people who get easily attached with someone. Loneliness (sometimes) sucks. but i ever wrote about the difference about people who being alone and people who feel lonely, right? I mean yes you can even feel lonely when you're actually not alone. Maybe that's why some people at party need alcohol to have fun and some other need a wifi-internet to just check-up the instagram feeds. Or even you're handsome boy who born from a very rich parents and you can always get whatever you want with beautiful friends and luxurious life that you're livin.... you still looking for a chill pill while your life is already chill. Or make a new jump to new business that more challenging you or even harm your comfort zone. See? No matter who you are and what you do, as a humans, you always do the distraction from the boredom of loneliness. It's the truth. You may ever heard that our ancestors on long time ago ever created a system that they believe on something that the sun is a God or the stars are the angels. They're alone and staring at the sky and believing about every move of stars and rain is giving a signs to them. It's actually not too different from us in this era. Hope is what keep us feel alive.



Sorry, where are we going right now? Yeah i mean the point is.. you may somehow feeling lost right now, but seriously life goes on. you need to get back to your own track to find yourself back so you can love yourself and bring back your own potential to make the best of you for YOU.
Let's start it by treat yourself first: have a massage at spa and blow your hair at salon, get a new cute dresses or cool stuffs, then buy your fav foods (i suggest you a pizza. and ice cream. with a vanilla and chocolate favour. purrfect.)




WEEK 3
(the healing)


Here we are at week 3. You know the wound is already getting much better after you sew it by doing your old-new routines with friends or doing a very new routines that excited. You can even start talking and make fun about your past without feeling emotionally sad about it. You're doing good but the wound still remains as 'wet-scars' that still look ugly. that's fine well maybe kind of itchy but avoid it to fuck it up by rubbing it. Cause no. you're not ready to be cool to play the 'hi, good luck' with people who hurted you. things take time. you may hate the scar so much right now cause it looks ugly and to remembering how you suffer to heal the wound is giving you so much fucked up. So i guess no. you're not ready yet. Someday you will be at the moment where you can see a scar as a part of yourself that make you proud to can have it. a big lesson.

What to do next? What? you're not feeling your life is full-fill enough right now?
Plan a trip. Go to places that you've never been before. Ask your friend to come with you or be brave to go alone. Blended with a people there. Experience is a new knowledge and you will know that life has much more interesting things than stuck in a one moment. Nothing lasts forever. but memories... it's your choice to make your own records to play.




WEEK 4+
(the dealing)


You are at the moment where you no longer care, you no longer hate, you no longer give a damn curse to a person who hurt you, and if there are some people asking you about the scars like "what is that? what happened?" then you're just feel nothing like "nah, it's just a scars."
You do whatever you like to do like usual. And you can slowly open up with a new person that has a good intention with you. Even then.... when you're accidentally met your ex with his/her new partner at somewhere you can be like "Hi how are you!?"...

You don't think about revenge right? Of course you're not. cause you don't care you really really don't care anymore. That's a sign of letting go. You're like releasing the toxic in your body and soul. It such a good feeling, isn't it? to finally feel a fresh air.




Congratulation. You did it. And i knew you would, cause i could and everyone could.
You find yourself back and passed all the shits behind without any regrets.
Love yourself and share the cup of love to people who deserve it.
A lesson learned. You're doing great.